A Personal Journey Story To End 2024

"No matter how much you torment yourself with guilt, the past won't change. And no matter how much you consume yourself with anxiety, the future won't be altered. So don't ruin your present; live in the NOW with determination and courage."

~Unknown

I came across this a couple of weeks ago and I could immediately relate to it, especially when it comes to pickleball. I have a history of pre-match anxiety (fear and hatred of losing), and then when I do lose, getting over it has always been a challenge.

So I have been trying to fix this over the past couple of years. But in spite of what I thought were my best efforts, I haven't been doing very well. Behind a brave face, all the anxiety and guilt remained. I couldn't seem to find a mindset that made sense and allowed me to actually compete effectively in the game I love so much.

A few weeks ago I played in a tournament with disastrous results. After five games (first to 15) in two different events my partners and I had scored a grand total of fourteen points. Yes, fourteen points in five games - do the math. I vividly remember being completely drained and defeated, sitting there staring at the floor and questioning everything. Even to the point of giving up playing. I had bottomed out.

So I soaked in self-pity for a few minutes, and too my surprise nothing got better. At that moment I finally realized that I simply needed to accept what happened and move on. If I truly believed in myself, I would be able to fix it. We had two games left in the tournament and, while they weren't victories, they were better losses.

I tried to move on over the next couple of weeks, but the pickleball gods weren't finished beating up on me. Routine rec games became a chore as I struggled to truly accept what was going on. Thankfully, the worse it got, the stronger my resolve became. I went back to the basics, I did the drills, I went to the gym, and I worked on my attitude. My rec games got much better, and my game and my mindset seemed to be back on track.

I entered a Seniors event in a tournament this past weekend, in the Open division, and I looked forward to it with little or no anxiety. My partner and I played consistently well and we took home the Silver medal. I was tested a couple of times and I handled the situations fairly well. I haven't yet conquered everything, but I think I have turned the corner.

I tell you this story for two reasons - one, I hope there may be something in my experience that will help you, and two, so that I can be held publicly accountable. It becomes a little bit more real if I talk about it.

So I am closing out 2024 on a high note, and I can't wait to see all of you on the courts in 2025.

Happy New Year!

​Michael Gauthier